I was born this way. It was the same for me before and after opening my eyes. I remember the sounds of my mother crying while she rocked me to sleep when I was little. The blackness engulfs every pore in my body. It has become a part of me.
Although I cannot see the wild nature and the vast skies but I sense everything around me. I feel the wind on my back and the dusty earth under my toes. I hear the roar of water and the crackling of fire. I smell the people moving about me, so lost in their worlds that they don’t pay attention to this magical being called the earth. I cannot see but I see so much more than all the other populace. But it is not just the beauty I see, I hear the screams of people, smell the innocent blood being spilled in wars. I feel the pain and the suffering around me. I, sometimes, feel a deep bond between myself and the earth. It too is neglected and mistreated.
Ever since I was born, it has always been the same for me. I am a blind girl in a society of “normal” people. I am always treated differently than the others. My mother wants to see me fit in the society. Since childhood, I have been trained to be sent to an ordinary school so I could mingle with other kids my age. My parents have always wanted me to have the best of everything. But in school, I always sit alone on the corner bench. I don’t have any friend in my class. Sometimes some kids come and talk to me out of pity. I don’t really like being treated in that manner. In the evenings, all the children go out and play. I know as I can hear the noises like it is some melodious music. But sadly my life hasn’t yet been filled by this song. My parents and my dolls are my only companions. My evenings are dedicated entirely to my only friends, my dolls. At night I have dinner with my family and we discuss everything from the world news to my studies. This is the greatest part of my entire day. This is the time when I feel alive.
One day, out of the blue, my class teacher changes my seat. She has made me sit with a girl named Subah. Her name means morning and my life is filled with darkness. What an irony. She seems like a lovely girl. She too has no friend in the class even though she can see. We start talking and we become instant friends. Two lonely souls calling out to each other....
We have become good friends. We are walking down a narrow street and are completely engrossed in our conversation. I am walking almost in the middle of the road. That is when it happens. A speeding out of control motorbike comes racing down towards us. She sees it before I can hear its sound. She pushes me away from the bike and gets hit by it herself. I wish I can help her. But all I can do is shout for help. I am feeling worthless. Thankfully she does not have extreme bruises. She has saved my life by trying to give up her own.
She has become really special to me after this incident. We walk hand in hand wherever we go. She is my ‘eyes’ now. She sees what I cannot and leads me ahead in life. Subah, the morning has become my guiding light. The sadness and loneliness in my heart has vanished into thin air. She has filled my black life with colour. She has become the song I have been craving for. She completes me.
It has been years now. I have not made any more friends. Subah is the only friend I have. Sometimes I think why was it that no one was friends with her? She is an absolutely incredible human being. She is kind and thoughtful. Ever since we have become friends, she has never left my side even for once. We have been inseparable all throughout these years like twins that were lost somewhere in the sands of time and have been reunited in this life.
I miss her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. She was my saviour. But little did I anticipate that she would leave me so soon. My eyes have not been dry since she’s gone away. I have lost my only companion, my only confidant, the only soul who has touched my heart, my spirit. Things that were special now seem pointless without her in my life. . I can no longer hear the wind and smell the earth. My world is discoloured again.